For those of you who don't know what that is it's a woman who gets a guy to pay her money simply by being insulting to him. No touching. No sex. No nudity.
Normally she just does this online but one of her subs - who lives in northern France - was going to be in our area for a day. He promised to buy her 600 euros worth of stuff if she'd meet him in person.
So, she hit me up to be her bodyguard.
Now, I've never been a bodyguard before but figured "fuck it."
I found my summer shades in my old beach bag. I showered but didn't shave. I put on my black leather jacket and practice mean looks in the mirror.
We all agree to meet at this dive bar near my house. The girl and I meet up and wait.
He's like 15 minutes late. When he turns up I stare him down while he apologizes.
The dude is skinny and mousey and clearly nervous.
This makes me stare him down even more.
Now he's from up north and thought it would be warm here. So he didn't put on a coat.
Therefore we sit outside and drink coffee while this guy freezes.
Finally after about an hour she decides she's ok and gives me the signal.
They go off to the mall where he buys her all the stuff she wants.
We make him think we are meeting up when she's done and during the date she says he was "sweet and non invasive."
All in all a pretty good afternoon.