bart_calendar (bart_calendar) wrote,
bart_calendar
bart_calendar

This Weekend Women Across The World Will Be Masturbating Thinking About Peeled Gingerroot

People are starting to share sections of Grey - the new 50 Shades book that just came out. This one is by far the most amusing.

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From this I come to many conclusions.

1. Gingerroot sales are about to skyrocket. Why did I not invest in gingerroot futures?

2. What is the magical property of gingerroot that would make it impossible to clench her buttocks?

3. Why not a carrot? Isn't it a core of traditional Americn values that carrots and cucumbers are the only vegetables real Americans use as sex toys?

4. Would it really teach her not to be responsible? Or would it simply give her a gingerroot fetish?

5. If she has any idea what he's thinking she's got telekenetic abilitites, because I don't think any woman would assume that a dude is thinking about gingerroot in her ass.

6. This is the first time in literature I've read about a straight man describing his own face as "pretty."

7. If gingerroot and a belt will do the trick why the fuck did he invest in over $100,000 of expensive sex toys?

8. Could I have come up with a more click bait headline if I tried?

9. Rome Girl comes home tomorrow. Does anyone know if you can buy gingerroot in France?

10. Has "gingerroot" ever been used as a slur against Irish gay  men?
Tags: figging, gingerroot dildo, lots and lots of comments, lots of comments, ring of fire
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