bart_calendar (bart_calendar) wrote,

Top 10 Ways To Celebrate Tom Cruise's Birthday

1. Blow off  your therapist.

2. Watch Dawson's Creek. Silently cry.

3. Place a Craigslist ad for "Up and coming actress looking to become A-list. Five year contract available."

4. Tell your girlfriend that having sex with her is "mission impossible."

5. Blackmail your gay friends.

6. Have a picture taken with your girlfriend while standing on a footstool.

7. Hire someone to tape you saying all the shit you would never want anyone to know about ever. Agree to keep giving them hundreds of dollars a month for the rest of your life.

8. Buy a copy of "Battlefield Earth."

9. Go to a volcano. Look for Thetans.

10. Jump up and down on your couch, telling yourself you are happy and not bi-polar.

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