bart_calendar (bart_calendar) wrote,
bart_calendar
bart_calendar

How To Speak Girl Online

One of my lesbian friends is trying the online dating thing for the first time. This has made her realize she has no idea what girls mean when they type stuff to her, because she's totally used to figuring things out based on body language. I'm tried to help her translate a few things, but would love your help/suggestions on how to translate Girl Online Language into Normal English.

Here are some translations I've given her based on things Baby Les has said to her so far. (All are statements that Montpellier Les has been obsessing over what they mean.)

1. "You've made me really want to visit Montpellier" = "I'm interested in you."

2. "If I visit should I get a hotel or should I stay with you" = "Are you interested in sex?"

3. "I'd only be coming to Montpellier because I'm thinking about traveling to several cities and I haven't decided which ones to visit yet" = "I'm totally just coming to Montpellier to see what you are like in real life."

4. "You cook? Are you good at cooking breakfast?" - "Are you interested in sex?"

5. "You seem like you would be someone fun to have an adventure with" = "I might be interested in sex with you."

6. "Sorry to cut the conversation short but I'm tired and need to go to bed" = "I'm tired and need to go to bed."

7. "It's funny, but I've memorized your work schedule so I know when is a good time to talk to you" = "I'm kinda into you and have probably Google stalked you."

8. "The showers here suck, what is your shower like?" = "I'm in the peace corps so if I show up and smell funky don't worry I'll clean up."

9. "Your friend Bart seems like  a nice guy." = "Since you added me on Facebook I've read every publicly available thing possible about your friends."

10. "I hope I don't come off as crazy." = "I'm kind of crazy."

Your turn!

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