bart_calendar (bart_calendar) wrote,

Breaking News!

(AP) -- The GOP primary contest was thrown into chaos today when presidential hopeful Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock, Shield of Lannisport and Warden of the West, announced that frontrunner Herman Cain is not actually an American citizen.

"My bannermen have done extensive backround checks on Mr. Cain," Lannister said. "We have come to the conclusion that he was actually born in India and, is, in fact, a Buddhist."

Lannister then challenged Cain to produce his birth certificate and provide witnesses that can prove he has "been in a church accepted by the Seven Kingdoms."

The Casterly Rock lord noted he had never seen a person with Cain's skin coloring in any of the kingdoms and that his 999 proposal is actually a mirror image of numbers used to signify alliance with people who live on the other side of the wall separating America from the unknown barbarian hordes in Mexico and and kingdoms further south.

"As soon as Mr Cain gained ground in the polls snow descended on New York City," Lannister said. "Is there any clearer indication that if Mr Cain wins the election that Winter is coming?"
Tags: game of primaries
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