bart_calendar (bart_calendar) wrote,

The Debt Ceiling

(AP) -- GOP presidential hopeful Tywin Lannister yesterday unveiled a controversial plan to lower the nation's deficit and reduce the risk of economic collapse should Congress fail to increase the debt ceiling.

Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock, Shield of Lannisport and Warden of the West, said that should he win the Republican presidential primaries and eventually become president, his family would purchase all of the nation's debt in exchange for long term government bonds at below current market interest rates.

This, he said, would allow the government to continue to maintain vital entitlement programs while reducing the overall national debt.

"A Lannister always pays his debts," he said. "So should the United States of America."

Khal Drogo, Lannister's main opponent in the GOP primary field, said that such a move could be construed by the markets as a default by the United States government and cause a downgrade by the major credit ratings agencies.

Instead, Drogo's plan is to generate revenues without raising taxes by looting the Lamb Men of the North.

"Alberta has vast riches," Drogo said. "But they cannot ride."

Drogo's plan has been seen as a ploy to attract support from the populist Stone Crow wing of the Republican Party, who, up to this point, have backed Lannister.

The increased revenues, Drogo said, could also be used to help fortify the wall between the United States and the unknown hordes who live in the free cities of Mexico.

The wall itself is expected to become an hot button issue as the campaign drags on.

It is maintained by INS agents led by Aemon Targaryen, the grandfather of Drogo's wife, Daenerys. Last year, it was revealed that President Obama's illegitimate son, Jon Snow, was hired by Targaryen, in what many conservatives have described as an obvious patronage position.

Obama himself is said to support a deficit reduction plan that would cut deep into many cherished entitlement programs, including eliminating popular military contests that have long been funded by the federal government.
Tags: game of primaries
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