1. The Slytherin princess likes it on top and has strong lesbian tendencies that the writers are sure to exploit in future episodes.
2. The Hufflepuff King continues to prove he's a Hufflepuff by his sheer uselessness.
3. Meanwhile his sons continue to prove that they are really Ravenclaws that the Sorting Hat was probably fairly tempted to put in Slytherin. I suspect some sort of affirmative action thing that year at Hogwarts.
4. The mudblood is going to become some sort of warrior/priest. He wants to know about his mother but nobody has the heart to tell him she was a muggle.
5. Poor Harry is going to be a cripple. Hopefully he'll keep his mouth shut about the Hufflepuff queen really being a slutty Ravenclaw, but I doubt it.
6. The kingdom's entire defense strategy is based on praying that their enemies never figure out how to make boats. This is why the Gryffindor warrior should have become king back in the day instead of the Hufflepuff King.
7. I like Ginny Weasley's new sword.
8. Too bad her sister has the hots for the Ravenclaw Malfoy.
9. We didn't get to see much of the Slytherin Malfoy. My guess is that in addition to being willing to whore out his sister, he's probably brought along plans about how to make boats. We did learn that he's sort of a libertarian who thinks people should be able to defend their homes from poachers using deadly force if needed.
10. This country's high priesthood is filled with sex offenders. It's too close to Easter to make the obvious joke.