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September 21st, 2015

First Time Stumper

Never had a Rock And Roll Trivia thing stump everyone. So here's the answer to the one that stumped everyone.

(Note: My lyric for the game is the correct lyric. I can't tell if the Japanese person doing the subtile is putting up the wrong lyric, if Duff is doing the wrong lyric or both. Here are the lyrics per copyright by Danzig.)

What To Do When People Learn You've Fucked A Pig

It's hard to be a politician when people discover that you once face fucked a pig. The proles, needing affordable nutrition from their butcher shop, just don't understand. So, here is what to do if people start talking about your swine jobs.

1. Remind people that in boarding school you were constantly buggered by the bigger boys and that you had to overcome that trauma somehow.

2. Say "At least it wasn't Mayor Boris!"

3. Have the government donate 10,000 pounds of bacon to the Syrian refugees.

4. Claim it was an audition for a cutting edge Uk television show.

5. Grant Donald Trump temporary UK citizenship and allow him to run for leader of the Conservative Party. The horror will ensure your position.

6. Immediately grant Scotland independence.

7. Invite the leaders of PETA to your next fox hunt.

8. Scream "fuck it, your future king wants to be his girlfriend's tampon!"

9. Give Big Ben to  Ahmed Mohamed.

10. Admit fault and say "Sorry, from now on I'll only fuck the poor."

Rare Post Where I Talk About My Bullshit And Shrink Shit

I tend to try to use this blog to highlight what's good in my life. My shrink today suggested that using it to talk about what's bad might also have some value. So, here we go.

That said, I'm going to do it in a format that is all about how I deal with my shrink. Because that's my comfort zone.

"I'm sorry that I  have not come in the past six weeks," I've just felt withdrawn", I said to her.

"I know," she said, "That's why I texted you. You can't spend your entire life sitting on the beach or in bars reading books and using them as a a way to hide."

"Well," I said to her, "I just dont trust people. My main client doesn't need any work, the girl I thought was my best friend fucked me over and I'm just not signing new jobs like before and I just want to fucking sleep all the time."

"Yep," she said "And I don't think you are ready to talk about that yet. But can you admit that you are depressed?"

"Yeah," I said.

"You lost your  job, you lost your best friend and you are not going to your brother's wedding,' she said. "Being depressed is being sane."

"Then why do I feel so bad," I responded.

"How about this," she said. "Want to spend an hour talking about Bloom County?"

"Yeah," I said.

An hour later I was feeling better.

June 2019

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