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May 11th, 2015

Pick Your Three To Defeat Superman

I pick Galactus, Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias.

Who do you pick?

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Why You Could Never Really Write A Book Telling Dudes How To Get Laid

I've had the idea that if I was ever going to write a book advising dudes who bitch that they can't get laid about how to get laid that I'd give them this bit of advice:

"Come up with some weirdo fetish that very, very few dudes are likely to be into. Post on FetLife that you are into that fetish. The three or four women in the world who are into that fetish and have been looking their entire lives for a dude into that will probably mortgage their homes to fly out to see you and perform any number of sexual acts with you as long as you indulge their fetish."

But, here't the thing - dudes would fuck it up.

After the book came out some dude would post on Fetlife that he's interested in rescuing women from quicksand pits. Three or four women would fly out to see him and have ridiculous amounts of sex with him after he dragged them out of a quicksand pit.

The dude would then post about this online - and every other dude who has had trouble getting laid would decide that all women are into being rescued from quicksand. There would suddenly be millions of quicksand pits being dug in their backyards. And when they talked to women online they would brag about their quicksand pits and when the women were like "WTF?" would then accused them of being "repressed" or "frigid" because they aren't getting immediatly wet over their quicksand pics.

Next there would be trend stories about quicksand pits and debates about how you must be digging the quicksand pit wrong if you are not getting laid by it.

And, nobody would get that the real message was "simply try to be interested  in something interesting and make that something interesting be about what the woman wants instead of you just getting your dick wet."

June 2019

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