September 16th, 2014

Breaking News

(BBC) - In the latest move to convince Scottish voters to remain part of the United Kingdom, Prime Minister David Cameron arranged a deal for the new Oaisis album, "Crabby Road", to be immediately uploaded, at no cost, to every iPod, iPhone and iPad owner in the potential breakaway nation.

"What could make potential seperatists voters change their ways more compellingly than making them realize that they will no longer be part of a country where drunken members of a Beatles cover band can become rich, famous and inspire us all," Cameron said. "After all, the UK, as a whole, is a wonder wall."

When contacted by the BBC, supporters of the Scottish Independence Movement said they were considering inviting Oaisis, U2 and Babyshambles to visit their new country shortly after reinstiuting the death penalty.