September 3rd, 2014


When my little brother was born, nearly 17 years after me, my grandfather was really pissed off.

"I'll never get to see him go to college," he said.

Now, I have no idea how old he was at that point. Age was a werid thing with him. He always introduced my cousins and I as his "nephews" and "neices" instead of "grandchildren." But I got his point - and he was right, my grandmother and grandfather died before The Idiot Child hit kindergarten. This means that he's never really known what it's like to have grandparents. (His mom's parents died when I was like nine or 10.)

Now, my brother is engaged and there is the customary discussion of whether or not he'll make my parents grandparents for the first time. If he does I can't imagine what it would be like.

To me a grandfather is someone who teaches you how to shingle a house, run a motor boat and put up sheetrock.

To me a grandmother is someone who cooks various roasts and soups during the day and plays a mean game of bridge or  hearts against you at night.

I can't even begin to imagine my parents in those roles. And, weirdly, even though my dad is 71 some part of me thinks "he's not old enough to be Pop-Pop!"

Beyond that I don't think The Idiot Child has any idea what a grandparent is.

That said, if he and I find out it will be interesting to find out.

What To Do?

My upstairs neighbors' cat has spent a lot of time trying to get my cat's attention. So, my neighbor asked me if we could introduce the cats to each other. My 10 year old female cat quickly beat the shit out of her 14 month old male cat. Do I have to like bring his human a bottle of wine or something  to apologize?