July 10th, 2014

The Five People You See In Every Bar

1. The dude who is always watching the TV no matter what bizarre sport is on.  It could be lawnmower croquet, dude is watching the fuck out of it.

2.  The person who is only there because they have a crush on the bartender.

3. The dude who is there every day because his apartment is small and he likes beer.

4. The unemployed dude with nothing else to do.

5. The girl pretending to like sports in hopes one of the dudes will notice her and she'll get laid.

Sex Crime

Over on Gawker there is an interesting piece about a guy charged for not disclosing his HIV status to sex partners. There are back and forth arguments on whether or not that should be a crime. That's interesting, but it ignores the fact that there are people out there who intentionally infect people - shouldn't we be talking about that?

GLADD has commented on the case, essentially arguing that this dude had no choice but to not tell people he was HIV positive:

"(I)f you don't understand why a young gay black man has difficulty disclosing his status, you're clueless as to why the epidemic is affecting young gay black men in shocking numbers. We have an environment in which those with HIV are labeled as murderers, and then wonder why they have trouble disclosing."

As far as I can tell that means "how the hell else was he going to get laid?"

That may very well be the case here, that the dude was just worried that he'd not get fucked if he told his status. What it ignores is the culture of stealthing (tricking men into unprotected gay sex) that exists.

There are numerous websites out there with details on how to do it. Check out this (NSFW) one that is particularly evil.

Here's some of his "helpful" advice.

"Put your condoms in your car for a few days, especially if you can sit them on your dashboard. Then bring them inside and put them into your freezer straight from the extreme heat. Then take them back outside to the car. Doing this a few times — extreme heat, extreme cold — really breaks them down but only once or twice helps."

Here's some more.

"First and foremost, get rid of all condom-safe lubricants but not the bottles they came in (maybe not all… when you do have the barebacker over, you might prefer one). Fill up these "safe for condom use" bottles with oil or petroleum lubricants."

And more.

"You must control your breathing so that when you cum, it's not apparent you're cumming. Immediately after shooting in the bottom's ass, pull out and reach down to appear to pull off the condom. In this process, wipe off any excess cum from the ass. Produce the wet condom and drop it somewhere near his chest and/or face. Now breath hard and "cum."

Now I'm not saying that anything like this happened in this case. But stealthing needs to be part of the ongoing discussion of the criminalization of HIV transmission. There are literally dozens of sites out there with guys trading tips on how to stealth and talking about the times they've stealthed and encouraging other dudes to stealth.

That has to mean that it's happening. And, when it does, I do think it should be a crime.

Haters Gotta Hate

I think we now have a winner for the most obnoxious mommy blog of all time. Shockingly (not) it's headlined "I Taught My Daughter To Hate."

It chronicles how the mom has spent years teacher her daughter to be a total asshole and how proud she is of the monster she's created.

"Boo! Hiss!" That is what my daughter will yell out whenever we drive by a McDonald's or a Burger King. On occasion, she will also stick out her tongue at the massively popular fast food chains.... This isn't the only negative behavior she displays when faced with something she thinks is "like totally gross." When she sees a person smoking on the street she will not only give them the stink eye, but she covers her mouth in an attempt to not have a single particle of smoke reach her mouth or nose. It's pretty dramatic and usually leaves the smoker bewildered by her reaction."

Because, you know bothering total strangers on the street is exactly what little kids should be doing. And, boy does the mom think this is awesome.

"This behavior totally warms my kale-eating, Greek yogurt-loving, grass-fed beef burger-grilling heart....Yes, this is all my doing. Since she was old enough to comprehend the English language, I have not-so-subtly taught her to have a disdain for certain things, so much so that you could call it a "hate." When we would see a Mickey D's commercial on TV, I would warn her of the dangers of fast food. When we would see someone smoking, I would bring up the dangers of cigarettes. These carefully crafted asides on my part really have sunk in, and now I don't have to give her any guidance to "hate" these things — she hates them all on her own."

She worries for a bit that teaching her children "hate" might not be the greatest thing in the world but then is like "fuck it, I'm glad she's a hateful snot."

"I will go on record that there are some behaviors or unhealthy things that are totally hate-worthy, like smoking. And it is our duty to guide our children to think negatively of those things."