December 19th, 2011

Men Without Hats

Dudes who wear hats always suck. It's true. It's like the symbol of the Asshole Tribe.

You can even break it down by type of hat.

Baseball Cap Bill Forward: Balding dude who likes to start fights in bars.

Baseball Cap Backwards: Date rapist.

Baseball Cap Sideways: White dude ho thinks he's black or black dude who thinks it's 1987.

Cat In The Hat Hat: Phish fan trustafarian hipster who thinks he's ironic but he's not.

1950s Hat Two Sizes Too Small: British rich kid twat.

Knit Cap: Dirty fucking hippy who will steal your shit.

Any Hat With Guinness Logo: Amateur drunk who only drinks on random bar holidays and will puke all over the bar bathroom.

Santa Hat: Pedophile.