December 1st, 2011

I Am A Bad Buffy Fan

Rome Girl got caught up on Ringer tonight and asked me what I thought about Tara from Buffy playing the stripper.

I hadn't fucking realized it was her!

I suck at these types of Easter Eggs.

A Christmas Story Sucks Too!

The comments in yesterday's post about how awful It's A Wonderful Life is, reminded me that A Christmas Story is also a piece of shit.

First off, the entire plot is based around a seemingly emotionally disturbed child, who wears glasses that are so thick he must be essentially blind demanding and receiving a firearm.Is this a Christmas movie or an ad for the National Rifle Association?

How can so many liberals who are in favor of gun control love a film about arming functionally retarded blind children? Do you not realize what this kid's future is? There are three choices:

1. He shoots members of his own squadron in Vietnam.

2. He shoots the eyes out of all of his classmates in a mini Columbine.

3. He becomes Lee Harvey Oslwald.

Then, you have the fact that this is the most patriarchal hetero-normative film in modern memory. Are any of the adults not married to members of the opposite sex? Are there any gay, trans or black people in this entire fucking town? Do you really think it's cool to call duck "Chinese turkey?"

Hell, this film even has a subplot that actively mocks trans people when Ralphie is "OMG given clothing that is slightly feminine even though he's a boy! The horror!"

Again, like my point about the gun, this film is a fucking right wing fantasy land. It's fucking propaganda for Christan conservatives in flyover states.

Beyond that you have the really, really tired cliche of the mom being all knowing and wise and the dad being an idiot. How can you not feel bad for the dad. He has to put up with an emotionally disturbed blind gun nut child, be the only breadwinner and get treated like a complete fool for his efforts.

Hell, the dude makes one and only one simple request in the entire movie. He just wants to chose one single piece of furniture for his home. Does his family say "Sure, you work long and hard to support us, it's only fair that you get some choice in the place we live in and that you pay for." No, instead they mock him behind his back like the ungrateful tools that they are.

Finally, what kind of Christmas movie not only has the main character be a blind future South American mercenary, but also gives him Tourette syndrome. This movie - because it wants to be able to mock the handicapped!

Shit, face it people, A Christmas Story sucks.


Sasha Grey telling Barbara Walters that no she isn't ashamed of her career or her past and that she has a right to contribute to the community.

How You Know I Am A Nerd

Rome Girl asked me if there is anything she could get me while she was in Berlin.

This is how I responded:

"If you can find a street with an open window and get a picture of yourself or marco holding up a sign that reads "keep passing the open windows" that would mean a lot to me."

What makes it clear that Rome Girl gets me is that she did not question this at all and just said "OK."

P.S. I then told her that if she can do a second photo while wearing a bear suit with a sign that reads "Sorrow Floats" than that would be my ultimate Christmas present.