October 6th, 2011

Jobs Bill

Ok, this is my favorite jobs creation bill of all time.

The Governor of Florida and a member of the legislature have sent up a bill to legalize dwarf throwing in Florida bars.

""Why prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get...In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?"

Yes! This is what will save the Florida economy, Florida bars having Game Of Thrones nights where patrons actually get to throw people dressed like Tyrion Lannister around the bar.

Writer's Block: Remembering Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs once said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." He inspired a generation to Think Different. How has the legacy of Apple's co-founder influenced your life?

It made me bitter when Rome Girl insisted we spend 600 euros to get her MacBook repaired when for that much money we could have bought her a brand new up to date PC with a lot more RAM and other features.

It also made me get tired of listening to all my friends who bought iPhones bitch and moan about the endless number of problems with them even though they keep buying newer versions of them while seeming not to notice that people with Androids never, ever bitch about problems with their phones.


1. Ok. Evil SMG is staying at the Hotel de Crillon - where the least expensive rooms start at 550 euros a night. How good do you have to be in bed for a dude to be willing to pay for you to stay at that hotel indefinitely after just one night of sex?

2. Who knew the French ban on smoking in cafes and bars had been lifted?

3. Note to Good SMG - If your life plan is to successfully impersonate a bitch, you might want to act like a bitch once in a while.

4. How, exactly, does someone forget when their identical twin sister's birthday is?

5. How dumb is that FBI officer? Wouldn't the logical conclusion of hearing that coast guard distress call have been for him to think that maybe Druggie SMG wasted Rich SMG for her money? Wouldn't an experienced investigator at least consider that possibility?

6. How long can you reasonably hide the fact that you are not pregnant when everyone thinks you are pregnant?