September 30th, 2011

Chris Christie

Man, the Republicans are idiots with the way they are trying to get Chris Christie to run for president.

It's just not going to happen - as pretty much anyone in New Jersey will tell you.

The thing is, it's impossible to become governor of New Jersey without being somewhat corrupt. The mob runs nearly all the unions and can sway any election if you don't cut a deal with them.

So, everyone in New Jersey knows that there is some level of corruption going on, but as long as the guy or girl runs the state fairly well we don't care. It's just the cost of doing business.

This is why there are tons of open secrets that everyone knows about and talks about in bars and cafes about our politicians but that never comes out in campaigns.

When Jim McGreevey ran for governor everyone knew he was some sort of weird bisexual submissive voyeur. But his challenger wasn't going to use that against him because nobody gave a shit. He did good things for the city of Woodbridge, was a good state legislator and everyone sort of liked Jimmy. So, it wasn't an issue until he hired his boyfriend for a high paying no show job.

If he'd just stuck to watching his wife get banged by young studs in the back of the limo and hooking up with dudes in Asbury Park gay bars he would have been fine.

Before him everyone knew that Christine Todd Whitman's husband's construction company was deeply mob infested. But, who gave a shit. She never seemed to use state money to throw them any weirdo contracts, so if there was some bribery and extortion going on with her husband's business we didn't hold it against her.

The same could be said of all New Jersey governors going back 100 years or more. We know they are corrupt on some level but as long as it isn't in your face and they don't push things too far and keep the state running we look the other way.

But, that's not how the rest of the country works. And in a national election the skeletons would jump out of the closet. Now, I haven't been in New Jersey for a decade so I don't know what the whispers are about Christie. I can make a good guess though. His major accomplishment in office was getting a deal through with the teacher's union. Now there is no way the people who really run the teachers union would have let that shit fly if they weren't getting compensated somewhere on the back end. Just how that's happening won't be an issue in New Jersey but I guarantee you it would become one if he ran for president.

You also have to realize that Republicans in New Jersey are not like Republicans in the rest of America. Because New Jersey is such a heavily democratic state, New Jersey Republicans are essentially Democrats who are slightly more right wing on fiscal issues.

If Christie ran, the social conservatives and Tea Party people would be horrified at his actual ideas because they wouldn't be particularly different from Obama's ideas. Has nobody noticed how he keeps talking about being tired of the "crazy people" in politics. Let me give you a clue - he's not talking about Democrats, he's talking about right wing Republicans, independents and libertarians.

So, yeah, Chris Christie hates large parts of his own party, is barely a Republican and has some sort of skeletons in his closet - and he's too damn smart to enter a campaign he can't win and that might destroy his reputation.

Therefore, he won't run.

End of story.

Blame Canada

Just in case you thought Americans had cornered the North American market on crazy intolerance, check out this ad that's running in Canadian newspapers this week.