August 24th, 2011



It's my dad's birthday in two days now. What he always likes for his birthday or Christmas is cool books to read. But he's mentioned in a few emails that since his stroke he mostly "listens" to books.

So, I went to Amazon and found that audio books now come in a shit ton of formats - CD, MP3, Kindle etc...

I've emailed both my mom and my brother to ask them which fucking format he uses - and not gotten a single response. I even tried to call last night and left a message - and still nothing.

Now, I know I'm going to get shit for not having gotten him a birthday present on time, but at this point I'm guessing it's too late.



So, it took a bunch of potheads six months to accomplish what the CIA, MI6 and Mossad couldn't accomplish over more than three decades.

From now on instead of selling guns to insurgents I say we just airlift them some prime bud.

Why The Doors Are A Weird Band

I went out to pick up my dry cleaning this afternoon and then, because it was really nice out, stopped to grab a couple beers at a table outside a cafe.

While I was there the bartender played nothing but The Doors.

And... here's the thing:

When one song by The Doors is played it's sorta fun. You can grove along to Ray Manzarek's keyboard playing and sort of smile at the ridiculous over top shouted emo lyrics.

But... if more than one song by The Doors is played, it all falls apart and instead of being fun, it becomes the weirdest and most awful form of earworm torture ever.

It's not that The Doors are a bad band - if they were awful, they'd sound like shit whenever any of their songs are played. It's just that their one big strength - Manzarek - can't compete against the fact that the lead singer makes them sound like an over the top Vegas lounge act.

This is also not me saying that there is anything wrong with over the top lead singers - but if you are going to be over the top and as weirdly dramatic as Morrison is, then you have to go full out.

You have to act like Ozzy Ozbourne or Rob Zombie or Glen Danzig and know that what you are doing is ridiculous. When you do that it remains fun.

But, if you try to come off as some sort of super emo poet who does over the top lounge act shit then it just becomes ridiculous really, really quickly.

Anyway, that's the weirdness with The Doors. If someone plays one song they are borderline awesome. At two songs they become OK. At three songs in a row they suck and at four or more songs in a row you would be fully justified in walking up and pissing on the stereo that's playing them.