June 1st, 2011

Oh, Yelp

So, the Onion did a satirical article a couple weeks ago claiming that Planned Parenthood was going to start a giant Abortionplex complete with theme park type rides, night clubs and family friendly shopping.

Some genius decided to put the Abortionplex on Yelp and the reviews are awesome.

For example:

"I have mixed feelings about this establishment. Yes, it provides inexpensive, reliable abortions in a one-stop setting, throwing in munchies and a bit of R&R for the family. Yes, it makes knocking up your FWB a heck of a lot cheaper - it's even cheaper than birth control, now.! I was grateful for that.

But what about all the small Mom'n'Pop abortionists being driven out of business? They're more expensive, admittedly, but they are (or were) a vital part of the local economy. They'd greet you by name, ask you how it happened this time, share their corny abortion jokes. When I was a kid, my mama's abortionist would always give us lollipops and tweak my sister's nose and ask when she'd come in for her first. That part of small town American life will be gone forever, soon."


"Celebrated my niece's 15th birthday and took care of her "little surprise" at the same time.
Service was top notch.

Pros: Fantastic happy hour specials, tantalizing appetizers, animatronic mouse and bear make for a festive atmosphere
Cons: Not enough moist towelettes, small selection of sports channels on big screen TVs, screams of unborn souls will haunt my dreams."

Tune Hotels

When I read about Tune Hotels - where you have to pay extra for towels or if you want the maid to clean the room or if you want heat in your room - I planned to write a rant about it.

But, Rome Girl beat me to it and wrote an awesome blog post about it instead.