April 25th, 2011

Deep Thoughts

The next time someone says it's crazy that Islamic martyrs think they will get a given number of virgins in heaven, remember that you just spent a day honoring the creation of your zombie overlord by hunting for brightly colored eggs and exchanging chocolate shaped rabbits. rabbit shaped chocolates.

Ugg

Was talking with a girl tonight where halfway through the conversation she said (in French.)

"You should really start doing cocaine again."

I was like WTF?

And she responded, "When I met you 10 years ago you had such a nice body but now that you don't do drugs you look like you are pregnant with twins."

"I don't think most people have the same body at 42 as they did at 32," I responded.

"You really need to do more coke," she replied. "Otherwise why would anybody fuck you?"

I just finished my beer and walked out.

Part of wanted to say something really shitty to her, but the sane part of me decided that I couldn't be bothered.