April 19th, 2011

My First Love

Back when I was in my very early 20s I told my first serious girlfriend that even if we broke up I would still love her and care about her for the rest of my life.

A lot of my friends at the time said similar things to their boyfriends and girlfriends.

The vast majority of them now say things to me like "I can't believe I dated him or her" or "Him or her was such a bitch."

I'm lucky because I've never felt that way. I can give you an example from the other day.

I posted a comment about The Killing and my first love responded and we talked about it (not here on Live Journal so don't go guessing if one of the people who made a comment here is my first love. She's not.)

It wasn't dirty talk or even flirting. It was just talk. And for that reason it was beautiful.

She was the first person that was important to me other than my family. Several years ago when she got back in touch with me (again not in a dirty way) it made me smile.

At the time I was talking with her about her Nerve dating profile. Now she's married. My shrink asked me at the time if her getting married bothered me. I honestly said "No, I'm just happy that she's happy."

More important than that I'm happy that every time I hear from her it still gives me a little thrill.

The reason being that it makes me think that the most important promise in my life is one I've kept.

And, I'm glad that the first person I chose to love was worth it.

20 years later she still makes me smile.