March 17th, 2011

Rock And Roll March Madness Round One - Time Is Running Out!

Only a couple days to go in Rock And Roll March Madness Round One.

The round ends whenever Rome Girl and I get up Saturday to create the new polls and update the grid.

So, now is the time to get your friends, family members and sworn enemies over to vote. The Misfits still have a chance against the Duranies and The Smiths could still pull off a comeback!

Someone asked me overnight how they could vote if they are just a casual reader. You just have to create a Live Journal sock puppet account. It will take you about two minutes and cost you nothing and you never have a make a blog post or fill out your profile or anything.

Plus, it will give you the ability to bitch and moan in the comments if your band gets knocked out early.

Anyway, time is running out!

It's time to rock the vote!

The Rock And Roll March Madness Grid/Brackets is here.

First round voting for the Girl Group division is here.

First round voting for the Metal division is here.

First round voting for the Punk/New Wave division is here.

First round voting for the Classic/Traditional Rock division is here.

You Know? For Kids!

My shrink told me today that she thinks I'd make a fortune if I tried writing children's books. She says my "childlike sense of wonder at the world" and my "way with words and creativity" would make me a natural.

I responded that I'd write one about little Suzzi Won in Thailand who with the help of ghosts and goblins only she can see manages to become the best sex slave in the world and over the course of seven books ends up running her own sex trafficking operation aided by orks, goblins and trolls.

The companion story for boys would be about Lightfingerd Larry who has wizards teach him the ancient dark arts of pickpocketing, grand theft and extortion.

"You know," she said. "I'm not trying to make a monster here."

Chinese Lover

If you think you've ever heard the worst roommate story in the world, think think again.

Guy rents out a room in his apartment to a Columbia grad who seems normal but fairly quiet.

A few months go by and one day he comes home and realizes his roommate has left his bedroom window open and it's raining.

So, he goes into the room to close the window only to find out that his roommate has built a life sized sex doll out of rotting Lo Mein noodles - complete with a glory hole that he's obviously been fucking on a regular basis.

To quote the article: "it was a person's shape, with a hooded sweatshirt attached to gloves and a pair of jeans, with the other boot tucked into the leg. Coming out of the seams were remnants of noodles, rice, and meat, grease stains pooling through the fabric and onto the floor, spoiled scraps of food filling the hoodie to the brim. Doug scanned the body—and...yep, there it was. Noodles oozed out of the unzipped fly; a glory hole that Jack had ostensibly been taking advantage of all spring long."

Makes your current roommate seem incredibly sane, doesn't it?