February 7th, 2011

White People Problems

So, after seeing my shrink this morning I went and changed the hundred bucks and got 69 euros for it.

Went to the game shop and Call Of Duty Black Ops was exactly 69 euros. It was fate!

Get back to the apartment and find out that the game will only play in French or German. If this was a genre I'd played before I wouldn't give a shit but do I really want to have to learn an entire new game interface system in a foreign language? No, I don't.

So, I go back to the shop and ask to exchange it for a different game. They say "no problem" but then when they try to actually get me to store credit everything goes crazy. They end up hitting random buttons and calling up their boss who is off because it's Monday.

Turns out that new cash registers had been installed over the weekend that require a password for refunds/store credit. None of these guys had been given passwords and the manager refused to give them his password over the phone.

"Come back tomorrow," they said.

Rome Girl then texted me to get toilet paper so I hit the two euro store we usually buy it from. Turns out they no longer sell toilet paper.

Fine, went to the small grocery store around the block. Find toilet paper go to cash register. Hand the girl the 20 euro bill that was in my wallet. She refused to sell me the toilet paper because she didn't want to make change for a 20 for a three euro purchase.


Had to head to the huge grocery story and wait in line behind 15 senior citizens buying loaves of bread and paying for them in small coins they felt the need to count about six times each.

Finally got home. Figure "What the fuck I'll try the game in French."

So far I think I may just keep the game. The entirety of the directions it has given me include:

"You are in the Bay of Pigs. Kill the communists."

Then, when I accidentally shot a girl in a bar it said "Don't kill the hookers." (I do wonder if they actually use the word "hookers" in the English version of the game, or if the French translators just liked an excuse to use "putes.")

When I accidentally shot the guy who was helping me out it said "Don't kill your friends."

So, I shot anyone who was wearing anything red, hopped into a car and ran over anyone wearing anything red and eventually it said "Mission accomplished."

Before and after there is some guy strapped to a chair and he just keeps screaming "I won't tell you anything."

If the level of French they are using stays this basic, no problem.