February 5th, 2011

Father And Son

Tonight at the Vert Anglais I ended up talking to a French dude who was really upset.

The reason was he'd just gotten off the phone with his five year old son.

Why is that sad?

I'll tell you.

Six years ago he was dating an American student in Montpellier. When it was time for her to go back to the States after her year abroad he broke up with her because he didn't think a long distance relationship was realistic.

A few weeks after she got back to California she called him and let him know she was pregnant.

He told me he's trying to do the right thing. He sends them money. He's trying to get a visa to work in California so he can be closer to his son.

His problem right now?

He doesn't speak a lot of English and his son doesn't speak a word of French. So when he talks to his little boy on the phone neither of them have any idea what each other is saying.

Because he can't afford an English language course what he's doing is carrying a French/English dictionary with him wherever he goes and every time he has a break from work or anything he reads it and tries to memorize what he can.

"I'm getting better," he said to me. "But, my son speaks too quickly for me to understand him."

Writer's Block: The start of something wonderful

What is your favorite opening line of a book, and why?

“And it’s a story that might bore you, but you don’t have to listen, she told me, because she always knew it was going to be like that, and it was, she thinks, her first year, or actually weekend, really a Friday, in September, at Camden, and this was three or four years ago, and she got so drunk that she ended up in bed, lost her virginity (late, she was eighteen) in Lorna Slavin’s room, because she was a Freshman and had a roommate and Lorna was, she remembers, a Senior or a Junior and usually sometimes at her boyfriend’s place off-campus, to who she thought was a Sophomore Ceramics major but who was actually either some guy from N.Y.U., a film student, and up in New Hampshire just for The Dressed To Get Screwed party, or a townie.”

The care it must have taken to create a run on sentence that says so much and sets up the tone of the story (stories?) so well is astounding.

Dirty Talk

A couple of weeks ago I was watching a random porn video and the girl said to the dude "Oh, your Viagra is really working today baby!"

All I could think was "Wow! That's most unerotic dirty talk I've ever heard!"

That said, I rarely watch video porn so maybe stupid shit is said all the time.

So, I ask you - What's the least erotic thing you've ever heard someone say in porn?