November 22nd, 2010

Thorns

My shrink knows that it's about a 10 minute walk from the tram stop to her office. So, the first thing she always asks me is what I thought about on that walk.

"It's weird," I said. "I'd never noticed before. But, the roses. The ones people have in their gardens just bloomed this week."

"So," she said.

"Well," I replied,"If I'm going to have to walk through a suburban hell hole to get to you I'm going to notice the shit around me. And, doesn't it seem wrong to you that roses bloom in fucking November? I mean everything else is getting ready to die or go to sleep for the winter and now is when they come out?"

"What does that make you think," she asked.

"That roses are optimistic motherfuckers. Think about it. They need to be pollinated, right? But what kind of shape are bees in by November? They are fucking geriatric Alzheimer's bees wearing bifocals. No wonder the roses have to be so bright and smell so much. Otherwise they'd never get laid. They'd be much better off just blooming in July when there are lots of nice fat healthy bees around."

"Anything else," she queried.

"Maybe they are anti-social," I said. "The fuckers are ugly and covered with thorns 10 months of the year and fucking hide from potential flower friends. They just wait until all the other flowers are dead and then they come out and play."

"You've thought a lot about this," she said.

"Well, it's like they say in American Beauty," I said. "Look closer."

"That's a type of rose," she commented.

"Among other things," I replied.

Cash Points

You have to give the French credit for being very creative with their strikes.

This current one is meant to punish the banking system. The idea is to get everyone in the world to go to an ATM on December 7 and take out as much cash as their withdrawal limit will allow.

The theory is that this "bank run" will cause all the banks in the world to simultaneously collapse.

To quote the article:

"We don't pick up weapons to kill people to start the revolution. The revolution is really easy to do these days. What's the system? The system is built on the power of the banks. So it must be destroyed through the banks.

"This means that the three million people with their placards on the streets, they go to the bank and they withdraw their money and the banks collapse. Three million, 10 million people, and the banks collapse and there is no real threat. A real revolution.

"We must go to the bank. In this case there would be a real revolution. It's not complicated; instead of going on the streets and driving kilometres by car you simply go to the bank in your country and withdraw your money, and if there are a lot of people withdrawing their money the system collapses. No weapons, no blood, or anything like that."

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Of course, there are some flaws in this system.

1. If I ran a bank I'd just turn off my ATMs on December 7.

2. Do some people have super high withdrawal limits? I can only take out $500 a day. I'm not sure that small amount of money even combined with millions of people taking it out would cause complete banking collapse.

3. If the system does collapse, aren't you shooting yourself in the foot - because every dollar you couldn't take out because of your withdrawal limit will be lost to you forever. Plus, how are you going to get paid a week later if there are no longer any banks?

4. What did retail banks ever do to anyone? It's investment banks that caused this shit storm. What's the point in fucking up the ATMS of retail banks?