November 2nd, 2010

Sex Fails

I was talking to a friend of mine this morning who had a spectacular Sex Fail last night.

For those of you new to the term a Sex Fail is when your partner tries to do something nice or even normal, but due to weird circumstances it kills sex in a spectacular fashion.

Anyway, I figure we've all had Sex Fails happen to us and I want to know yours.

To get us started I'll tell you one of mine from years ago.

Rome Girl and I had just started hooking up and she was still living in Rome and I was in Montpellier.

This was her third weekend visit to me. At the time I was still working out of Internet cafes instead of my apartment.

Unfortunately, on the Saturday one of my clients contacted me and needed me to work for about four hours. So, I apologized, gave her a spare set of keys and promised to make it up to her when I got back.

That's when Rome Girl decided she'd try to impress me by doing my massive pile of laundry. So, she went to the grocery store to get detergent and stuff. The problem was she didn't speak or read a word of French, so she selected her items by the shape of the bottle.

She thought she was buying detergent and bleach, but instead bought detergent and drain cleaner.

Now, you have to understand that at the time what I wore for underwear was white boxers. So, she put a lot of "bleach" into that particular load of laundry.

When I came back from the Internet cafe I was delighted that she had done something so nice and thoughtful and we had a great fuck.

Then, I decided to shower and put on clean clothes before we went out to dinner. Roughly three minutes after I put my newly clean boxers on I was in incredible pain. I ripped my clothes off and my cock and balls were covered in drain cleaner induced welts.

Massive Sex Fail!

Now, it's your turn!

Blind Gossip Goes The Fan Fic Route

No matter how much the many lovers of fan fiction may want this blind item to be true, I don't believe it.

"This trio of costars in a popular fantasy flick once got so high together in between takes on the set of their movie that they engaged in a threesome. We’re not quite sure of the details since the three initially swore one another to secrecy after the event took place, but one of the braggy stars blabbed about the magical experience to a good friend which is how the info got out."