August 31st, 2010

The Crazy Knows No Bounds

Ron Paul wants the government to prove there is gold in Fort Knox.

“If there was no question about the gold being there, you think they would be anxious to prove gold is there,” he said.

How are thee crazy? Let me count the ways:

1. Who would have stolen it? Is there some former president out there that has it buried in his back yard?

2. Do you have any idea how large a conspiracy you'd have to have to move tons and tons of gold out of there? You really think that not one person would have spilled the beans?

3. We are not on the gold standard.

4. We will not be on the gold standard at any point in the near future.

5. The value of money is a shared illusion anyway.

6. The value of gold is a shared illusion as well.

7. We can't let our enemies know that the Arc of the Covenant is in there.

8. If there is no gold there they are going to have to totally rewrite the script for Ocean's 15 and that's not fair.

9. Before anyone could possibly steal the gold from Fort Knox John McClain would stop them. Yippie-Kay-Yay Motherfuckers!

10. Spending taxpayer money to have a bunch of people inventory and count large chunks of metal that do nothing but sit in a locked vault and will do nothing but sit in a locked vault forever is a total waste of government resources.


I love how this show keeps reinventing itself every season - and that while it deals with their lives generally sucking, it still manages to not be depressing, unlike the current seasons of Hung and Mad Men.

Read To Me

Today Jezebel writes about a books shop that uses its cork board as a dating service.

The deal is people post what gender they are and what gender they are looking for on the cork board with a list of their favorite books and a way to contact them.

Now, that's sweet, but it makes me wish someone would create an online dating site based on this premise. I would fucking buy a subscription just to fuck with the system.

Each and every day I would post a list of completely improbable books as my favorites and dare the system to match me with someone.

I think this would be my first shot.

That I'm a man seeking a woman and here are my favorite books:

Intercourse by Andrea Dworkin

American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis

The King James Bible

Watermelon by Marian Keynes

The Turner Diaries by William Luther Pierce


He's Just Not Into You


What crazy combos would you come up with?


Rome Girl: "I think you should get a Kindle."

Me: "Why?"

Rome Girl: "Because it would satisfy your duel desires for instant gratification and for liking things that are cheap."

(Brief pause while I refer her to my blog entry about my feelings about the Kindle.)

Rome Girl: "This is why I don't read your blog or like discussing things you write on your blog."

Me: "Why?"

Rome Girl: "You sound like the guy from High Fidelity."

Me: "Don't I often sound like that guy."

Rome Girl: "Yes, but that's not the point."