August 28th, 2010

The Guys

At my shrink today I ended up mentioning a recent post by theferrett where he discussed masculinity.

This led to a discussion with her about how much easier it is, in many ways, to be a guy than to be a girl.

The reason being that guys don't judge other guys that much. To be one of the guys you simply have to drink beer, know a few seriously offensive jokes, notice when a cute piece of ass walks by so you can point it out to the other guys and play games.

You don't even have to be good at playing games. When we go bowling I am the worst fucking bowler ever. But, that doesn't get me ostracized. Instead they tease me about how I suck at bowling and I tease them back about how much money I win off them when we play poker and it's all just fine.

The main thing is that you have to let yourself get made fun of and then make fun of the other dudes back. Do you like to wear nice clothes? Then, dudes are going to joke that you're a fag. Then, you'll joke back that they are a fucking slob and everyone just laughs, goes back to drinking their beers and waiting for ass to walk by.

You can even get away with not drinking beer as long as you can say "I can't anymore" and then tell a couple funny stories of stupid shit you did when you used to drink beer.

But at the end of the day that's all you have to do to be accepted as one of the guys. You won't get peer group rejected if you wear shitty or weird clothes or if your hair cut sucks. Nobody gives a shit if you have a beer belly or an athletic body. You don't even have to be a good conversationalist. Sometimes guys hang out drinking beer and saying nothing at all for a half hour or more until some girl with nice tits walks by. Then, the conversation goes something like this:

"Shit!"

"Yeah!"

"Dude!"

"I know!"

And then returns to silence and drinking beer.

But, for women the inter gender social aspects seem so much more complex. There are girls who won't hang out other girls because of the way they dress. There are girls who won't hang out with other girls because of something the girl said years ago. There are girls who won't hang out with a girl they think have fucked too many dudes. There are girls who won't hang out with big girls. There are girls who won't hang out with skinny girls. There are girls who insist they have to have something in common with the people they hang out with.

It's so much fucking harder - mostly, I think, because girls judge other girls much much more so than dudes judge other dudes.

I'm not sure why that is. And, I know it's not true of all women in the same way that my description of men isn't true for all men.

But it certainly exists and it certainly must suck.