August 17th, 2010


My shrink session on Monday was longer and harder than usual. In fact they've been longer and harder than usual a lot lately. My shrink says that this is because I've gotten so much better that I'm stronger now and we can dig in the dirt more deeply. She says it means I'm closer to be healed then ever before, but man is it hard work. I guess the deal is that when you first go to a shrink you are really fragile and they have to treat you with kid gloves - which is true in my case at least. After my first few sessions I had major panic attacks. Now I don't. Then, as you get better and stronger the kid gloves start to come off.

In a way it reminds of how different seeing a shrink is than the way it's portrayed on television and in the movies. You'd think that it was all you talking and if you ask your shrink a question you just get a question back. Hell with my shrink if I ask her something she either gives me a direct answer or tells me what Kant, Freud, Jung, de Sade or someone else said about a similar situation.

And, they don't just accept everything you tell them. My shrink has no problem calling bullshit on me when she thinks I need it. An example from yesterday's session (which was not part of the "difficult" part of our session.)

I'd been talking about finally beating the Dookie Album Achievement on Rock Band: Green Day. (You have to play the entire Dookie album from start to finish without pausing on Hard while getting a ridiculously high number of total stars by the end.)

Anyway, she asked me if I'd ever thought of buying a guitar and learning how to play it.

"Well, yeah, but then I think about how annoying it would be for Rome Girl to hear me practice and do a I really have the time and nobody seems to learn how to play guitar at my age."

"That's a rationalization," she said. "Why do you really not want to buy a guitar?"

"Well, what if I hate it," I responded.

"Bart, you come in here and you talk about rock and roll music more than you talk about books or sex or girls or your own writing. It's your passion. It's what you care about more than anything else. What makes you think you'd hate it," she said.

"Well, the thing is," I responded. "It costs a lot of money to get a guitar and and amp and lessons and what if I just suck at it and end up spending six or seven hundred dollars and a lot of my free time in order to not learn how to play the guitar."

"How much time and how much money have you spent on Guitar Hero and Rock Band games and not learned how to play guitar," she responded. "When are you going to stop being afraid of failure. Either get a guitar or don't. But if you don't get one, you are guaranteed to fail, if you do get one you just might succeed."


Anyway, that's much more representative of therapy in real life than any of the bullshit you see on movies or TV and I just figured I share it, because, you know, if more people knew what it was like, maybe more people would get help.


I clicked on this link from Drudge and just look at how insane the ads on the right hand side of the page are.

Jesus Christ some people really do live in an alternate universe.