August 10th, 2010

What Dreams May Come

As I've said before, I get repetitive dreams. Even though they are unpleasant, my shrink says they are a good thing because they represent my subconscious trying to handle the shit that creates my bad crazies and anxiety and in some cases are my subconscious blowing out my anxiety while I sleep so it will effect me less when I'm awake.

Two of the more unpleasant repetitive dreams are:

1. I've killed a girl in some way. Sometimes it's accidental. Sometimes it's been in a fit of rage. Sometimes for money. And, I'm trying to get away and not get caught. It's fucking terrifying. And, while the details are different I'm smart enough to recognize it's the same fucking dream just coming back to me every few months. I sometimes wake up terrified that some day I will kill a girl. My shrink says the fact that I have these dreams and that they scare me are evidence that I'm not capable of being a misogynistic girl killer. That kind of dude would either not have those dreams, or, if he did would find them erotic, which I certainly don't.

2. I dream that I'm having insomnia. When I eventually "wake up" in the morning I realize that I haven't had insomnia, mostly because the shit I did in the dream when I had insomnia would have been impossible. For example, watching boring movies on a flat screen TV that I don't own. It sucks because it feels just like insomnia and I'm just as tired the next day as if I had real insomnia.

Last night, I got a fucking double whammy. I had these two dreams combined. In effect, I dreamed that I couldn't sleep because I felt guilty for killing a girl a couple days before. But, I also argued with myself. Part of me told myself that I was dreaming and to stop being ridiculous. The other part of me told that part that I was in denial and just didn't want to admit to myself that I'd killed the girl. Then the other part would point out that the room in my apartment that I "remembered" killing the girl in doesn't exist and neither does the alley I dumped her body in. This argument with myself was fucking terrifying and seemed to go on for hours and hours.

I told my shrink about it this morning and she said the dream shows I've been making great progress because it demonstrates that I'm able to take on two of the elements that I'm working on at once. It means I'm stronger and winning the battle.

I told her I wasn't sure what the battle was. That I didn't even know what the weapons were or what we are fighting for. And, most importantly I don't know how I'll know if I've won.

"You'll know," she said. "You won't have any doubt. And you are a lot closer to winning than you think."

We'll see.

I Love It When I'm Right

A few days ago I speculated about why Emma Watson got her hair cut.

Today, Google News Alerts was kind enough to send me this article.

"Actress Emma Watson chopped off her long locks to put herself in the running for the lead role in the Hollywood adaptation of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, according to a U.K. report.

The Harry Potter star stunned fans when she debuted a short pixie crop earlier this month, but her new hairdo is believed to be more than just a change of style.

Watson is screen-testing for a role in the big budget remake of Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy, according to Britain's The Sun. She is reportedly in talks to play the main female character, computer hacker Lisbeth Salander, alongside Daniel Craig.

A source tells the publication, "Emma has auditioned with director David Fincher and cut her hair to look the part. The character of Lisbeth is a misfit goth-type girl with spiky hair."

Watson showed off her new look on her website, telling fans: "Cut my hair off a few days ago... Feels incredible. I love it. I've wanted to do this for years and years; it's the most liberating thing ever."

Other actresses tipped for the role include Natalie Portman, Ellen Page and Carey Mulligan."

I win.

The Crazies Get Crazier

Hey, did you think that fundamentalist conservatives were weird for thinking evolution doesn't exist?

Well, I've got that beat, they now no longer believe in Einstein's theory of relativity.

In fact, they think it's a liberal conspiracy.

"The theory of relativity is a mathematical system that allows no exceptions. It is heavily promoted by liberals who like its encouragement of relativism and its tendency to mislead people in how they view the world.

See, e.g., historian Paul Johnson's book about the 20th century, and the article written by liberal law professor Laurence Tribe as allegedly assisted by Barack Obama. Virtually no one who is taught and believes relativity continues to read the Bible, a book that outsells New York Times bestsellers by a hundred-fold."


Here's a big clue that Einstein was right - the theory of relativity is what causes nuclear bombs to work. Ask the fucking Japanese people what they think of the theory of relativity? I bet they won't tell you that it's a liberal conspiracy.

It's also what causes nuclear power plants to work. Does your home have electricity? If so, Einstein was right you fucking morons.

Rim Shot

That weird Craigslist ad reminded me of something Rome Girl said to me once:

"No straight guy is clean enough to rim."

Is she right? Are rim jobs reserved for gays and girls? Or have dudes gotten metro enough to have a pucker you could eat off of?

Tell us ladies - inquiring minds want to know.

Poll #1604093 Rimming

Do Rimmable Straight Guys Exist?

Yes, but they are rare.
That's what dental dams are for.
Perhaps but I wouldn't do it anyway so it's a moot point