July 20th, 2010

Squirt

Deep Thoughts

Often when I go to pet websites or forums, people say you should not have an "indoor cat" and should only have a cat if it has the chance to go outdoors and use its "natural skills."

This would make me feel guilty, given that I live on the third floor and Squirt never gets to go outside, except I've seen her try to hunt flies and am pretty sure she has no "natural skills" at all.

Heck, I've seen her try to chase cat toys and ping pong balls and fail regularly.

Some cats, as lovable as they may be, are really not ready for the outside world.

Plate Of Fish

So, Forever 21, a chain of clothing stores that advertises to the teen market says it's a coincidence that it's testing out its new line of maternity clothes in states that have high teen pregnancy rates.

Next up, makers of menthol cigarettes and malt liquor will announce that it's completely random that they test out their new products in cites that have large black neighborhoods.

Then, condom manufacturers will state that it's an accident that their new products are market tested in areas that have many universities and/or a high gay population.

Finally several Porsche, BMW and Lexus dealerships will announce that they simply threw darts at a map when choosing to open in Westchester Connecticut instead of downtown Baltimore.

Things I Just Don't Get

Lohan was clearly stoned before they cuffed her today, but that's apparently fine because her doctor has prescribed her adderal, xanax and dilaudid.

But, if she'd been on cocaine (similar effects to adderal), pot (very similar to xanax) or heroin (almost the same thing as dilaudid) and turned up for court she'd have gotten at least five years in prison.

This is the message America sends its citizens: Get as fucking high as you like as long as you are paying the pharmaceutical companies, but if you are getting high and paying some Mexican or South American greaseballs we'll take away your freedom and ruin your life.

Some days I completely agree with Billy Joe Armstrong when he says that every morning he wakes up in America he wonders why there hasn't been a riot.