June 21st, 2010

Fete De La Musique

Tonight is Fete de la Musique. It's an annual thing where about 30,000 people come to town and every street corner has a different type of musical act - ranging from classical orchestras to full on punk bands.

All the bars serve booze in plastic cups and you are allowed to walk around town with them New Orleans style.

I used to get really psyched up for the night but this year I'm feeling sorta blah about it. I mostly just want to have a few quiet drinks and chill out and the older I get the less tolerance I have for walking through crowded streets full of drunk people.

But, who knows, maybe I'll get pumped up for it once it's actually happening. Or, Hippy IT Boy and I may just spend the night hanging out in the Vert Anglais square smoking Cuban cigars and making fun of the amateur drunks walking by.

Time will tell.

The Real L Word

After boycotting all reality television since the Puck season of The Real World, I gave in this afternoon and watched the first episode of The Real L Word - and discovered that it's exactly like The Real World.

Seriously, in 10 years of reality television the medium hasn't advanced in form or style at all? That's just fucking lazy.

Anyway, here's what I learned from The Real L Word.

1. It's possible to pay someone enough money to have them admit on camera that their first sexual experience happened when they were nine years old and licked sour cream and Skittles off their 11 year old friend's boobs.

2. The term "Futch." This is a feminine lesbian who thinks she is butch because she has done something stupid like put on a backwards baseball cap or worn loose fitting jeans. Futches are made fun of and not taken seriously in the lesbian community. The show does not explain if the term comes from "Feminine Butch" or "Fake Butch."

3. When a lesbian says "I'm not a player" it means exactly the same thing as when a straight dude says "I'm not a player."

4. If you take two very hetero-normative and stereotypically Jewish lesbians and film them planning a wedding you end up with something scarier than anything Stephen King has thought of in his worst nightmare.

5. Dyke drama in L.A. is exactly the same as dyke drama in France. God it must suck to be one of the minority of lesbians who does not over analyze everything (This means you Lu!). You can see the player girl want to fucking scream as her friends talk about their insanely complicated relationship issues.

6. Casting directors for fashion shows are exactly the type of assholes I always thought they would be.

7. Being a lesbian does not save you from ending up dating someone who tries to pressure you into getting pregnant or ramble on about "5 year plans" and "moving the relationship forward."

8. Insecure lesbians are just as attracted to lesbian players as insecure straight girls are to straight male players.

9. Man, lesbian child custody issues are complicated.

10. Apparently the only men lesbians hang out with are family members or gay men. Seriously, not one of these girls has one straight male friend.