June 18th, 2010

Kids These Days

My dad is a college dean.

He told me last night that the students have become so conservative over the past few years that on a regular basis he has them in his office complaining that professors used words like "shit" and "fuck" in class.

Also, they bitch if there are explicit sex scenes in the books they are assigned for literature class.

This blows my mind.


Remember when LiLo's alcohol monitoring bracelet went off after the MTV Movie Awards?

She took a urine test when the cops arrived and guess what?

It came back negative for alcohol.

And for that reason the Department of Probation is cool with her now.

So, can someone please tell me why we put people on probation into these notoriously unreliable devices that can be set off by perfume, nail polish remover and eating too many English muffins?

Because, let's be honest - do you think the average dude or babe on probation who got a false positive would be able to clear it up this quickly?

I don't. I bet most of them get sent to jail based on evidence the system knows is tainted.

But, whatever, right? Let's just keep the "bad" people off the streets so that all the vanilla fuckers who never want to light a joint or have a few drinks or snort a line or god forbid mess around with someone with similar genitals are safe and don't need to be bothered by the rest of us.

Fuck it, let's just lock up all the damaged people in the world whether or not they are guilty of doing anything that hurts anybody else. If they haven't broken a law yet, just make new laws!

After all, if you aren't white, sober, heterosexual, going to an acceptable job and creating new white heterosexual children on a regular basis and listening to your pastor every Sunday you don't really have any value in society anymore do you?

And if you are female and don't plan on having children or are attracted to other females it doesn't even matter if you are white.

You never had any value in our society in the first place. So, you are probably better off locked up.