I need a book on the scoundrels and scallywags of Massachusetts.
As many of you know Lohan has been ordered to wear a SCRAM alcohol monitoring bracelet.
What this is is a device that measures alcohol levels in your sweat and, in theory, if you drink a beer it sets off an alarm to the cops who then come and arrest your ass for violating probation.
Because I'm a curious dude, I did some Google research on SCRAM bracelets and, like whoa, are there some civil liberties problems with this thing.
For one, depending on the weather and your level of physical activity it can take up to 90 minutes for your body to sweat out the booze from a beer and set the thing off.
And, like all machines, it's not perfect and can sometimes send out a false signal (usually if you accidentally bang it against something.)
Now, think about that. Sure, if it sets off an alarm and the cops come by and you are staggering around then they can and should be able to bust you for violating your probation.
But, what if you are acting normally and swear you didn't have a drink? Figure that it's taken 90 minutes for the thing to get set off and then add at least a half hour for cops to get to you in LA because of traffic and there isn't going to be any booze left in your blood stream.
What the hell would the cops do? They'd probably have to bust you, but there would be absolutely no way to prove your guilt or innocence.
Plus, the things can't differentiate between different types of alcohol and can get set off by nail polish remover and, really, anything containing Isopropyl alcohol and most household cleaning products.
I wonder how many people have been sent to prison on parole violations because they decided to clean their toilet or do their nails?