April 26th, 2010

Writer's Block: Are you incentivized?

Are there any buzz words or catch-phrases--such as incentivize or at the end of the day--that make you cringe? What are they, and why do you hate them?


1. Your card has been declined.

2. When can I pick up the rent?

3. You'll pull out, right?

4. I didn't realize they made cocks in that size.

5. Is it in yet?

6. I think of you as a friend.

7. I don't have sex on the first date.

8. No.

9. Don't cum in my mouth.

10. We have to talk.

11. Pas possible.

12. I sentence you to be exposed before your peers.

13. You have the right to remain silent.

14. Can you wear a rubber?

15. Maybe it would look bigger if you shaved.

Abject Failure

George W. Bush has released the title and book cover of his autobiography.

Gawker then decided to have some fun with the cover.

First, the real cover.

Then, after the LJ Cut, the joke covers Gawker came up with.

Photobucket

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I Will Not Be A Cliche Today

I need new shoes.

On Saturday I planned to buy new shoes, but said to myself, "I'll just sit here for a few minutes and play XBox first."

Before I realized it the shoe stores were closed.

This pissed me off, not just because I do need shoes, but I also felt like a living gender stereotype.

So, no matter how much I want to hit that Xbox right now, instead I'm going to shower and go shoe shopping.

Time to man up.

Full Of Win - And Fail

After buying shoes this afternoon I realized I needed a pair of pants, so I went over to Cellio.

Once there I was delighted to find out I've dropped from a French size 48 to a French size 46. (In American terms I've gone down from a 38 inch waist to a 36 inch waist, so my beer belly is still there, there's just less of it.)

On another note I loved the price tags on the pants. One tag read "29 Euros." The tag attached next to is read "Solde! 2 Pour 69 Euros!"

Rome Girl took a picture of the tags and I fully intend to send them to the Fail Blog when she emails them to me.

Riddle Me This

One day last week, for work, one of my friends had to chase butterflies and put ants in jars.

Next month she has to do the same thing in Spain.

What, do you think, is her profession?

Cruising

Well, it's pretty fucking clear who this blind item is referencing.

But, I still don't believe he will ever come out of the closet.

Text for those who don't like links:

"If you plan on coming out of the closet, make sure you check with this celebrity first. Since he believes that his coming out is more important than your coming out, he will not appreciate your stealing his thunder. In fact, he may even call you up to ask you to put your announcement on hold. We personally think that he should spend more time fixing his own mess of a life rather than calculating how much publicity he can get for disclosing things everyone already knew."

Ash?

For the last several days Rome Girl and I have been getting nasty headaches. And we never get nasty headaches. And I've noticed lots of people on my friend's list are complaining about headaches and colds.

I wonder if there is a lot of volcano ash in the air right now that we are unaware of but that is fucking with us.