April 18th, 2010

The Eurostar People Are A Bunch Of Idiots

Let me be a marketing geek for a minute here.

As you may have heard since the angry volcano gods have shut down air traffic in Europe the Eurostar - a train that connects the UK to mainland Europe - has suddenly become very popular.

And, in response to the increased ticket demand they have added an extra eight trains a day and tripled their ticket rates.

Who the fuck is advising them on marketing??? This is the worst decision possible.

Look, Eurostar has been having problems because it costs more to take the Eurostar from the UK to France than it does to fly RyanAir and it takes longer.

To counter this they've spent years running really expensive ads in The Herald Tribune and other high end travel magazines trumpeting the comfort and reliability of trains versus planes.

It hasn't worked out that well for them.

Here's what I would have done - canceled all ads for the next three weeks. Then use that money to give free seats on those eight trains a day to anyone who turned up with a plane ticket they couldn't use.

The amount of positive publicity they would have gotten - for free - in every newspaper and magazine they usually advertise in would have been marketing gold. And, it wouldn't be a total wash for them because those people would have spent money on drinks and food on the train. And, people who have never used the train before would have done so - and in a way that can only be described as a positive light.

Then, three weeks from now when this has all blown over, I would have run a huge ad campaign with nothing but pictures of people who took the train during this crisis with testimonials along the line of "When British Airways Let Me Down, Eurostar Got Me Home."

It would have been marketing gold that would have stayed in people's minds for years.

Instead people are going to remember that not only does Eurostar take longer - but they also ripped them off when they needed them most.

Good luck running an ad campaign to change those hearts and minds.

Random Bar Discussion Last Night

(All names removed to protect the guilty, but there were many people involved in this convo.)

"Part of me wants to spank her but I also want to eat her ass. I'd love to find a way to do both at the same time."

"Well, you can't really do that. You have to make a choice. You can't mix them up. During one sexual encounter you either have to spank her or eat her ass. Once one of you has cum, you can then switch to the other. You can certainly eat her ass for a bit and play with her pussy until she cums and then spank her, because once a cum has happened you are into Round Two and everything resets itself. But don't mix up ass eating and ass spanking in the same encounter."

"True, and remember that some girls need their asses eaten and some need them spanked. It's different dynamic. If the girl needs you to be worshiping her eat her ass. But, if she's in the mood to be sub, then spank her and don't eat her ass. If you do both you are sending a mixed message."

"Wait, but why can't you do both?"

"Because women like decisive men. If a guy tried to eat my ass and spank me at the same time it would be like if we went out to a nice dinner and he ordered both the chicken and the fish!"

"Exactly" - as several girls and guys all nodded their heads.

Things Straight Girls Like

Kittens and men in uniform.

As you may know until modern pesticides became particularly effective in the 1970s all U.S. naval ships had to have at least one and usually more than one cat on board so that mice and rats wouldn't eat the provisions or spread disease.

Now the U.S. Naval Institute has put together a series of vintage photos of the sailors playing with the kitties on the boats.

I figured there are a lot of ladies on my friends list who might be interested.