April 16th, 2010

Of Course, Mama's Going To Help Build The Wall

Poll #1551660 Mother

In Honor Of Roger Water's Doing The Wall Again, Which Question That Pink Has For His Mother Woudl You Say "Yes" To?

Do you think they'll drop the bomb?
2(8.3%)
Do you think they'll like this song?
7(29.2%)
Do you think they'll try to break my balls?
4(16.7%)
Should I build the wall?
1(4.2%)
Should I run for president?
1(4.2%)
Will they put me in the firing line?
2(8.3%)
Is life just a waste of time?
1(4.2%)
Is she's good enough, for me?
1(4.2%)
Is she's dangerous, to me?
0(0.0%)
Will she tear your little boy apart?
1(4.2%)
Will she break my heart?
2(8.3%)
Should I trust the government?
2(8.3%)

Breaking News

(CNN) -- President Obama tells the Department of Health and Human Services to establish a rule that would not allow hospitals to deny visitation rights to gay and lesbian partners.

Writer's Block: Gone with the wind

What three things do you think will become obsolete in the next ten years, and why?


1. White people after the black man impregnates all our white women.

2. Freedom, once the UN tanks take over our streets.

3. Birth control once everyone is in a gay marriage and the Post Office provides free drive through abortions.

And I think we know why - it's because of Stalin Hitler Pol Pot Obama.

Appeasing The Gods

1. Earthquake in Haiti.

2. Earthquake in Chile.

3. Earthquake in China

4. Volcanic ash shuts down most of Europe.

Ok, Quetzalcoatl I get it!

Tomorrow I'm going to go to a Catholic girls boarding school, kidnap a virgin and throw her into a fucking volcano.

Who's with me?

Kiefer's At It Again

It took four bouncers to put a very drunk Kiefer Sutherland into a headlock and throw him out of a London Strip Club after he decided to start stripping himself.

Rock on.

Though Rome Girl brings up an interesting point - any other star who had the record of drunken weirdness that Kiefer does would be portrayed in the media as "box office poison" or something or other - while when Kiefer gets up to drunken hijinks everyone sorta laughs it off.

Why is that?

Dear Tea Party People

Please, if you want to get any respect from anyone, stop carrying signs comparing Obama to Hitler, Stalin or Lenin.

Look, I'm not a huge Obama supporter - I wanted Hillary to win and I think Obama needs to grow a set of balls - but here's how I know he is nothing like Hitler, Stalin or Lenin.

If he was, you guys would all be in camps, shot or sent to prisons in Alaska never to be seen again. Hitler, Stalin and Lenin killed and locked up people like you.


Heck, Obama won't even tear gas you people!

(Though if I were in charge the tear gas and battons would have been used long ago. Not just against you, but against anti war protesters, anti nuke protesters and people at Phish concerts.)

So, please come up with some sort of metaphor that makes logical and historical sense.

Love,

Bart