April 12th, 2010

Deep Thoughts

I sorta want to make fun of Jay McInerney for becoming a wine critic for the Wall Street Journal.

But, on the other hand, I'm not sure what else you are supposed to do when you are Jay McInerney.

It's actually kind of fitting.

The Times They Are A Changing

Twenty years ago Nikki Sixx used to brag that he made girls pee in kitty litter boxes before he'd let them blow him.

Today, he has his own radio program where he describes himself as a "producer, clothing designer, philanthropist and best-selling author."

What's cool, is that the other night he interviewed Slash and the talking about music is actually pretty fun.

Dudes 101

In the wonderful Miss Information today a girl writes in because she's met a great guy online, but she's worried that because she's a slob he won't want to date her if he sees her apartment.

This is just another example of how women don't understand men.

1. We don't give a shit if you are a slob. If anything, it's a benefit, because you won't give us shit about our apartment.

2. All we care about on the first few dates is if you are crazy and/or boring and if you'll fuck us/blow us. As long as you aren't a clingy nut job or someone who spends the entire date talking about scrapbooking, we'll be happy as long as your pussy or mouth gets our dick wet. If the blow job is really good and you swallow we probably won't even be bothered by the scrapbooking and will feign interest during the second date.

3. Our standards of cleanliness are different than yours. If your sheets have been changed in the last four months and there is no rotting food sitting on the counter, we'll think your place is clean. We will never, ever notice if your bathroom/toilet is clean or not.

4. If a guy really won't bone you because your place is a mess, he's gay and just hasn't realized it yet and you are better off without him. No straight guy in the world has ever thought to himself "Well, I wanted to fuck her face, but there's a stain on the couch so fuck that shit."