March 12th, 2010

Nocturnal

I had a dream that I was sitting on Mars with all powerful abilities over Earth that I used to torment my enemies.

This is why I should not pop Watchmen into my DVD player twice in one week. In the dream I essentially had Dr. Manhattan's abilities with Rorschach's personality.

I Love My Girlfriend

She's finally gotten tired of people trashing Avatar and jumping for joy over Hurt Locker getting the Oscar. So, she posted this on her blog:

"I saw Hurt Locker. And Avatar.

And just an hour ago, I finished watching Jarhead.

ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING INSANE? DID AMERICA TURN INTO SOME BIZARRE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?

HURT LOCKER SUCKED. Yeah, I said it. Fucking liberal guilt can lead you to believe that this means I don't support the troops - or that because I don't live in America, I just don't understand (two actual arguments I've read online) - or that Avatar is some secret conspiracy to keep the black man down or whatever fucking douchebag dilettantes have been saying because they are afraid to admit that they were agog like a bunch of fucking six year olds while gazing at some amazing fucking shit through plastic goggles in a darkened movie theater.

Hurt Locker was a bad movie. It was bad because it was entirely mediocre. If you'd like to get your heads out of your asses and see what Hurt Locker could have been, do yourself a favor and watch Jarhead. Not only is it ten times more devastating and soul-crushing and amazing - it's also FUCKING GORGEOUS TO LOOK AT, unlike the CNN b-roll that is the cinematography of Hurt Locker.

I cannot BELIEVE how pissed off I am about this. Especially because over here, Hurt Locker was in the theater for FOUR DAYS because everybody was like, meh. And now they'll re-release it and everyone's going to go see it.

Yes, Avatar's story was tiresome and trite. THE GROUND GLOWED IN THE DARK AND THEY TRAVELED ON ANIMALS THAT CONNECTED TO THEIR HAIR. AND EVERYONE WAS 9 FEET TALL AND BLUE. AND EVERYTHING WAS IN 3D. Who the fuck cares what it was about? Come see me again in 5 years when everything is in 3D, and Hurt Locker becomes a Jeopardy question."