February 26th, 2010

Vajazzler!

Ladies and Gentlemen the newest female grooming idea - vajazzling.

The deal is that after you get a Brazilian wax you then get Swarovski crystals attached in a pattern where your pubic hair used to be.

Really!

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Fuck, No!

Angelina Jolie should not be playing Kay Scarpetta.

That's just wrong.

UPDATE: According to this link it's also going to be a prequel.

Which means no Lucy, Benton or Marino.

Personally I can do without Lucy (who is either a gloomy lesbian drunk or a superhero depending on the book) but not without Pete Marino.

The Oval Office

Rome Girl and I were just re-watching the last episode of The West Wing.

Doing so made me realize that the incoming president has a lot of latitude when it comes to the inauguration ceremony.

This made me start to wonder how I'll handle the inauguration when I am inevitably elected president.

Here's my current plan.

1. Musical Introduction: Marilyn Manson in full drag singing the National Anthem while burning the American flag.

2. Introductory Prayer: The "Die, by my hand, I creep across the land" section of "Creeping Death."

3. Inauguration Bible I'll Get Sworn In On: A first edition copy of The Satanic Verses.

4. Full Text Of My Inaugural Address: The lyrics to "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison, then a brief pause before I scream: "The truth? You can't handle the truth!"

The Internet will love me.