February 17th, 2010


Now I'm wondering what exactly it was that the cops were bombing the Mardi Gras people with.

It really didn't seem strong enough to be tear gas, but even from two stories up it hurt Rome Girl's eyes and made me somewhat sick to my stomach.

Is there some kind of "tear gas light" that's available now?

Get Your Game On

Check out the Adventures In Sex City video game.

You choose one of four avatars: Wonder Vag the blonde virgin, Power Pap the brunette whore, Captain Condom the guy who tosses rubbers at gay pride parades, and Willy the Kid, a tragically short fellow who "joined Sex Squad to prove size doesn't matter." His power is "massive rock hard strength."

"As night falls on Sex City, we discover that Sperminator has an STI and it is his evil mission to infect you."


This afternoon I'm writing about environmentally friendly lawn mowers.

Look, I'm a chain smoking city boy who like super warm weather.

If there is one thing I could care less about than lawn mowers (the symbol of suburban doucheshits) it's environmentally friendly shit (fucking hippy phish fan crap. Remember, the Prius was fucking killing its owners before Toyota was called to task! That's right, you fuckers died for your hybrids! Think about that the next time you want to reduce your carbon footprint!)

When I think of people actually shopping for eco-friendly lawn mowers the first thing that comes into my head is: "Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?"

Now, please excuse me while I sit in an SUV and encourage cows to fart.