December 21st, 2008

Writer's Block: Long Nights, Short Poems

It's the winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere, summer solstice in the Southern hemisphere, and Haiku Day in the U.S. Does that inspire you to write a three-line poem with five syllables in the first and last lines and seven in the middle line?

Haikus suck big dick.
They make me want to eat shit.
Would rather suck tits.


1. Going to finish straigtening the apartment for the cleaning lady tomorrow.

2. Final porn search before Rome Girl gets back Tuesday. (My penis deserves a day of rest.)

3. Poker at the Vert Anglais.

4. Re-watch Zombie Strippers.

5. Cool down with the most recent episodes of Without A Trace.

Better Than Jar Jar

I'm not sure what amuses me more about this erotic story involving Bobba Fett and Princess Leia.

1. That it contains the sentence, "I saw you watching yesterday when he made me blow that kowakian monkey-lizard in front of the entire court."

2. The writer actually takes the time to build in a long involved plot about killing Jabba The Hutt.

3. That Literotica felt the need to put this disclaimer at the top of the story: The stories in this section of Literotica are all fictional parodies - none are true, nor are they approved of by the celebrities named in the stories.

Really? You mean this isn't a true journalistic account of Bobba Fett getting off on watching Leia have sex with space critters? Bobba didn't really watch "Jabba himself fuck her with his massive hutt-tail?"

I'm astounded.