My shrink and I were talking about sexuality and such (as one is wont to do with a shrink) the other day and she asked me what made my admittedly odd libido react the most effectively.
I had to think about it for a few minutes and then I realized that what turns me on the most is when Rome Girl is happy. Seriously. When Rome Girl sent me a completely non-sexual email about how happy she was with the freelance lifestyle and hanging out in Rome that turned me on more than any bit of lingerie or porn ever could.
I realized it's always been that way, if she gets a nice phone call from her family or gets good news that's when I want to hold her and hug her and kiss her and make out with her the most.
As I was telling her this I noticed my shrink was making many, many more notes in her notebook than usual.
Also, I'm not sure why I didn't realize this before.
We've all done ridiculous shit because of our exes - and we've all dated some serious fruit loops.
For example, my ex-wife was seriously against cursing and therefore invented her own words and insisted that I use them when I was around her. And, if I fucked up and said "shit" I got a huge lecture about respecting her and sex was off the table for a week or two.
Here are some examples of her language:
Her vagina: Madame Pamplemouse
My cock: Monsieur Bon Bon
Coca Cola: Kilkenclocker (this was because she thought "coca" seemed too close to "cock.")
Fucking: Doing the taxes
Fart: Fluffy Toot or Flufferpoodle
The sad thing is I actually used these words around her - even when we were in public, which much have made me look like the biggest wuss in the world.
So, I'm curious, what's the most ridiculous thing you've done at the urging of one of your exes?