December 13th, 2008

Why I Love Axl Rose

Because he's completely insane.

"Your misconceptions and fantasies along with your misguided sense of entitlement don't dictate my actions," Axl said.

Axl acknowledged that he's got at least another album's worth of material, but added, "For now, we'll concentrate and keep our focus on this album."

That prompted one fan to ask why the singer has been avoiding the press, and suggest that Axl's low-profile is hurting record sales.

"What I have to say, a lot of people have no desire to hear," Axl responded, adding that negotiations for promotional strategies were made, but "unfortunately, those things never happened and once the record was closer to release, the biz went about things in their standard business-as-usual mode."

The rocker also talked about "an ugly battle" over album artwork and said an all-art booklet would be released shortly.

As for live-performance issues, Rose told fans he's on record as being happy with any venue that fits into GN'R's schedule, "but management and promoters can do a lot in their own interests behind the scenes that can rarely be avoided, and their greed or whatever leads to a lot of double talk and ugly [behind-the-scenes] nonsense that generally eventually ruins things for everyone."

Rant, Snark And Audience Participation

You know what rankles me?

People who need to buy books to get ideas about what to buy for their partners or do with their partners on Christmas, Valentine's Day or other romantic events.

Seriously, how little do you know your partners? How vapid is your imagination? How tasteless to let others tell you what's special.

That's why I think someone - meaning my readers and I - should come up with the "Snarky Romantic Ideas Guide."

I'll throw a few out there - but let's see what you can come up with!

1. Most women are secretly bisexual but afraid to admit it to their husbands. To make it an extra special Valentine's Day, surprise your wife by bringing home a call girl.

2. Men are often worried that their wives don't notice them. Prove your man wrong this Christmas by pointing out how much bigger his belly and bald spot have gotten this year.

3. When women say they are not interested in anal sex, what they really mean is that they want to save it for a special occasion. On your wife's birthday this year, switch holes without asking and watch her fall in love with you all over again.

4. Men want to know you love them no matter what. Let him know you care by saying, after sex, that you are so glad you didn't let his small penis deter you from marrying him.

5. Women are practical creatures. This Valentine's Day instead of buying her a useless piece of jewelry or taking her out to an overpriced restaurant, why not buy her a new vacuum or food processor?