December 9th, 2008

Knock On Wood

I really need to get a sales letter written this afternoon, but between Fleshbot, some of the really hot entries on my friends list today and something Rome Girl said in an email to me this morning I'm so fucking horny it's hard to concentrate.

I wish I had some paxil around so I could make my dick behave.

Seriously, the most productive I've ever been was about four or five years ago when I was on paxil for three or four months. I had no sexual feelings at all (the idea of sex seemed gross and like too much effort) and I got so much more shit done during the day. Oddly, it didn't make me aromantic. I still loved making out and cuddling and stuff, I just didn't want my dick to be involved in any way shape or form. But, I was happy to kiss for hours at night before we fell asleep.

Of course, this wasn't good for my social life and I'm glad that I look forward to orgasms again - but some days it would be so nice if I could just erase my sexuality for a few hours.

This makes me realize how low my libido really was this fall when I was on three xanax (instead of two) a day. I mean, sure, I still thought about sex and liked looking at porn and Rome Girl's tits, but it was never all consuming.

For the last two weeks, since my xanax levels have evened out, I find that some days all I can think about is sex and it's distracting.

That doesn't mean I'm going to go back to three xanax a day - I want to be motivated to get into the saddle when Rome Girl returns - I'm just saying I'm frustrated and distracted!