December 3rd, 2008

In Which I Am An Idiot

So, this morning the lights go off in the apartment and I become enraged.

Because the EDF is the most poorly run company in the world and very often "forgets" to credit payments you make them and then cuts you off for non payment I assume they've fucked me.

I look out the window and see the EDF truck outside. So I quickly gather up my receipt for paying the last bill, plus the new bill which clearly states that it's not due for another week.

I then put on clothes, go outside and start screaming at the EDF guy, pointing at my receipt and bill and calling him "not only a representative of a foul communist run organization, but an incompetent communist worker."

When I paused to take a breath he points around the corner and says one clear word in English: "Vandalism."

I look over and see that someone had set the main power grid for my block on fire.

"We'll have it fixed in a couple hours," he said. "Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite."

From The Freelance Job Boards

Project Description:

How do you feel about the subject of Extra-Terrestrials and metaphysics? If you are an experienced writer and researcher with an interest and complete open mind on this subject we want to hear from you. If you think that this is crank stuff and are just looking for a writing job - this isn't for you. If you are an E.T expert that knows the names and habits of all the universe's life forms, this job is for you.

Porn Request

A couple Three Five Six Seven of you lovely ladies have already been nice and sent me pictures of yourselves since Rome Girl went off to Italy.

To these two three five six seven ladies, I say "Thanks! I adore you!"

If anyone else wants to become one of my "favorite friends" and send me their pictures I'd be more than happy to receive them and be very discreet and not show them to anyone.

I love you all!

P.S. My email address is bcalendar@aim.com