November 28th, 2008

Writer's Block: Tales from the Registers

Whether you call it Black Friday or Buy Nothing Day, today is going to be a long day for those who work in retail. The customer might always be right in the store, but here on LJ let's hear some stories about times when the customer was wrongedy wrong wrong.

The one time this lady came in with a sawed off shotgun and killed everyone in the store except me, because the motor on her wheelchair broke and she needed someone to push her into the ladies room.

From The Freelance Job Boards

Project Description:

I am looking for a fluent English speaker to help me with online dating.

I will provide you with a complete description of myself, the types of women I find attractive, 'must haves' and 'turn offs', and protocol for setting up dates.

Responsibilities include: messaging new women, writing personalized emails from my account, setting up phone calls, scheduling dates, etc

Payment: Pre-determined hourly rate + bounty paid for each successful date set up, with performance incentives for sexual activities during the date.

A Different Type Of Indian

Does it seem to anyone else like the Indian soldiers are completely incompetent?

More than two days to deal with a bunch of armed Pakistani fishermen?


And have you noticed that they are letting reporters into the lobby of the fucking hotels where hostages are being kept?


Even the worst cop in America would know to fucking create a secure crime scene, so, you know, like CNN reporters won't be taken hostage!

Do they simply have no clue what they are doing, or are these terrorists some kind of weird masterminds?

As Rome Girl just said, "They got to get this shit under control."

Looking Slick

Today I got my hair cut.

Whenever I go get my hair cut, Rome Girl always asks "What are you going to have them do?"

I'm not sure why she bothers, since I always respond either "Pink dreads" or "Green Mohawk."

You'd think she'd have learned over the years that some questions elicit snark.