November 26th, 2008

Grumpy Vs. Crazy

I was really grumpy all day yesterday. For most people this isn't a problem - because it's understood that sometimes everyone gets grumpy.

When you have a history of mental illness, however, the lines blur - and the people you care about can mistake your grumpiness for crazy.

It's understandable. There's no way for Rome Girl to know what's inside my head.

For years, I'd bitch and moan and get angry because I was convinced the world was out to get me, random people were trying to poison me and giant spiders wanted to eat me. I felt like the only way to survive was the fight back and get angry.

So, when I get snippy and shit like I did yesterday it looks to an outside observer like I'm doing that again.

When, in reality, I was just annoyed because builders were banging and drilling in my apartment all day while I was trying to get work done, it was cold outside and I didn't feel like working.

But, of course, because of my history, it looked like I was crazy and made Rome Girl worry about me.

I can't wait until I get to the point where when I'm in that state her reaction is "Shit, he's being a grumpy asshole" and not "Fuck, he's going nuts again."

But, I guess that's the best argument for getting more and more sane that there is - having the right to simply be a grumpy asshole once in a while.

What's With The Gynophobia?

Women often bitch that the guys in straight porn are simply not that hot. One of the reasons for this is that gay porn pays better for dudes than straight porn, so good looking porn guys are tempted to go gay for pay.

Fine.

But what irks me is the way many gay porn consumers are ridiculously afraid of pussy. This Fleshbot entry is a good example of what I'm talking about.

"We kind of hate Maxx Diesel, mostly because he's one of the few pornstars who can make us do something we really don't like: look at vaginas."

Seriously? What the fuck is up with that?

When straight dudes watch straight porn we have to see cock and it doesn't seem to bother us. Why the fuck is seeing a vagina in the frame going to freak a gay dude out that much?

Are these dudes really that insecure in their homosexuality that they are worried that a little bush is going to tame their cockaholism?

The worst part is this attitude makes a lot of guys who do gay porn afraid that they will lose their fan base if they try straight porn.

Which is why you get a lot of fat bald men in straight porn.