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November 24th, 2008

Worse Than Waterboarding

Noise ordinance violators forced to listen to Barry Manilow.

Writer's Block: Evolutionary Contributions

In the spirit of the Darwin Awards, what gets your nomination for the stupidest act committed by a human this year?

When I delivered the load of coke and a dozen rent boys to the Lehman Brothers executive party and didn't insist on getting paid upfront.

Deep Thoughts

The biggest selling album in history in North America is "The Eagles Greatest Hits."

The biggest selling album in history in the UK is "Queen's Greatest Hits Volume 1"

What does this say about the two regions separated by a common language.

Discuss.

Lost In Translation

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Job Lead

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I Have No Words

Behold!

Doggy chew toys shaped like matching bra and panties.

The link is work-safe.

I Hate Return Of The Jedi...

... but so far my favorite level in Lego Star Wars is going into Jaba's palace, freeing Han from carbonite and then battling the weird prison monster.

I had it set up with the special power that causes all of the characters to wear Groucho Marx glasses - and let me tell you, Lea in the slave girl outfit with Groucho glasses on is hysterical.

So far my least favorite is the Hoth AT-AT battle.

I can't win that thing to save my life. If I manage to wrap the cables around the AT-ATs enough to trip them, I can't get back in time to drop the bombs on them. If I get the bombs ready, I fuck up tripping them.

It's a cruel and vicious cycle.

Sexism In My Own Home!

"These tongs were designed by a man," Rome Girl said.

"Why," I asked.

"Because they work really well, but are impossible to clean," she replied.

"Oh," I said.

"Seriously," she said. "No woman would ever design this shit."

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