November 14th, 2008

Bad Girl Lashes

You know, I always think and say that makeup on a girl doesn't really matter.

But, last night, when Rome Girl showed up after the Vert Anglais quiz was over there was something about her that made her look hotter than usual. I couldn't put my finger on it, but damn my dick knew that there was something it liked.

Turned out she'd bought new mascara at Sephora and put it on.

Who knew that makeup really works?

Style Notes

In general I find that most of the new styles that girls delve into in Europe are just plain weird - but this fall is different.

Lots of girls are suddenly wearing shorts (usually, but not always, jean shorts) with dark stockings/pantyhose.

Damn, it's so hot, it's smoking.

I hope this catches on everywhere and lasts a long time.

"You Are Badass"

I was talking to the girls at the Vert Anglais last night about the dude who commented on my blog that I'm one of the most "badass" people he knows. I found this amusing, because I certainly don't think of myself as "badass" - I'm a fucking drunk emo Star Wars geek who reads too much.

"But, you are a chain smoking, vodka drinking pornographer who knows how to talk to girks," one of them said. "You are badass. Do you have any idea how many blokes don't know how to talk to girls?"

In one way I agree with her. Almost every night there is some girl in the bar that all the dudes are talking about - and none of them ever go up and talk to her. I'm not sure what they are afraid of. Worst case scenario, she doesn't want to fuck you, but if you don't talk to her you aren't going to get to fuck her anyway.

So, you might as well just go up and say "hi" and take your shot. You've got nothing to lose.

My theory, at the end of the day, is that a girl drinking in a bar is just as likely to be thinking about cock as a dude at a bar is to be thinking about pussy. If you see three girls at a table in a bar they are just as likely to be talking about boys as you and your friends are to be talking about girls.

And, they might be getting self conscious wondering why they are in a bar filled with dudes who aren't talking to them.

So, next time you go out if you see a cute girl, go up and talk.

Her vagina may thank you.

Heebie Jeebies

"I had a paranoia attack last night," I told my shrink.

"How long did it last," she asked.

"About an hour," I said. "Until I took an extra Xanax and drank a martini."

"You always get paranoid whenever you pay the electric bill or the rent," she said. "Why does this still surprise you."

"It just does," I replied.

"Did you enjoy the martini," she queried.

"Yes," I said.

"Then why not focus on that."

Holiday Wishes Meme

Stolen from onceupon

Post 10 holiday wishes. Make some of them practical, some of them emotional and some of them just genie in a bottle type wishes. Then, get the people on your friend's list to do the same. A week from now pick one wish from one friend that you can grant and grant it.

Play it forward:

1. To lower my Xanax dosage to the point where my dick is more reliable than it is at the moment.

2. Master of Puppets T-shirt.

3. For Obama to live long enough to get into office.

4. For Rome Girl to have an awesome trip in Rome.

5. A ticket to see Metallica in Rome next summer.

6. A black leather wallet.

7. For my stepmom to get her business back on track and feel better.

8. Naked pictures from every girl on my friends list.

9. A freelance gig with Gawker.

10. To win the Vert Anglais pub quiz