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October 24th, 2008

Always Room For Jello

"For every prohibition you create you also create an underground."

Someone commented that they thought the picture of Jello Biafra in the last post was me.

I pointed this out to Rome Girl and she said, "You do sorta look like that."

Best compliments ever!

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Quizical

"I never want to fall in love. Why would you wish that on me?"

The Elder Half of Woody Allen Film Reference, Hippy IT Boy and I did the Vert Anglais Quiz last night. We swore we wouldn't come in third place this time - and we didn't.

We came in sixth!

Our team was called Hannah's Bitches, because the new rules state your name can only be two words or less. Before this rule we were thinking of calling ourselves "Kill All White People."

Rome Girl joined the team about a half hour into the quiz.

What's really depressing is that one of the questions that defeated us was the title of the Blink 182 album with "What's My Age Again" on it. I fucking own and love that album and still fucking spaced on it.

We are going to kick ass next week.

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Fuck The Sims

Behold!

Bonetown.

It's like Sim City, but for people who want to get stoned and fuck.

For The Ladies

Pictures of firemen not wearing shirts.

Deep Thoughts

You know what would make an interesting scientific study?

Find out the percentage of dudes in their mid to late 30s who at one point in childhood tried to use The Force to levitate rocks in their back yard.

Don't Read This Blog

My shrink and I were talking today about that study that claims cigarette warning labels may lead people to smoke more.

I have no idea if that study is bullshit or not, but I told her it wouldn't surprise me if it was true, because people are fucked up and that's the way the world works.

When I have to write spam a sales letter for a get rich quick scheme they always want at least one headline to be a variant of "Don't Buy This Product" because it pushes a certain number of people into wanting it more.

And, whenever I've read any of the pick up artists books I have to write ads for one of the core pieces of advice always is "The hotter the babe is, the more you should insult her and talk shit to her."

Seriously, there's some part of the human brain that makes you want crap more as soon as someone tells you it's a bad idea or that you shouldn't want it.

Almost every week someone on my friends list will write a blog post saying either "why do men suck?" or "why are women bitches?"

The answer is simple: Dudes learned at an early age that being an asshole will get them pussy and girls learned that being a crazy bitch would get them cock.

"What does that tell you," my shrink asked.

"That the best way for a dude to get laid would be to tattoo a swastika on their forehead and wear a T-shirt that reads 'All Women Are Whores," I responded.

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